It has taken me some time to come back to the blog. Pasta has been gone almost 2 weeks, and whilst she was heading downhill I was totally absorbed/distracted/distraught. I have found myself increasingly anxious over the past few days due to a combination of circumstances - mostly created by myself. I often turn to the passage of scripture - Do not worry Matthew 6:25. Somehow, this verse didn't comfort me in the same way as usual. I am not someone who lies awake at night, but I am someone who finds themselves paralysed into total inaction when fear strikes in the middle of the day. I am fortunate that I don't have full blown panic attacks,I have many things to be thankful for, but none of this makes the fear less real. The lectionary readings for this Sunday were from 1 Samuel and Mark 4 - David and Goliath and Jesus and the storm on the lake. Now, these are readings I have heard countless times, ones I remember from my earliest childhood, readings that I will have used when preaching on lots of occasions. The obvious link that stood out for me was overcoming insurmountable obstacles, huge fears. For some, our fears are tangible - spiders, debt, ill health, fire, floods, disaster, even clowns. Some things send us running away, leaping up on chairs, or crying hysterically. But....in most people their fear can't be seen, its an invisible poison eating away inside, destroying us from within, robbing our lives of hope and joy.
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So? Goliath is that great big giant of an obstacle that seems unbeatable, unconquerable, impossible. Goliath is the thing that we can't face, where the only option seems to be to throw in the towel. However, happy, healthy and wealthy all around us seem, within everyone is invisible pain and doubt and loss - it might not be current, but the shadow is there, or the fear of what might happen is there, a deadweight holding down our souls. In the reading from Samuel, King Saul had been fighting for the Promised Land. Despite the promise - it was something that had to be striven for, worked for. After all the people's struggles, all the journeys, all the battles, they come up against Goliath. In the camp is David - too young to be a warrior, still just a shepherd boy. But he sees what the conflict truly is - between Goliath and God. The point is not whether the Israelite army's strength will be sufficient, the point is that God's strength is sufficient.
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and from the Gospel according to Mark. The disciples have been with Jesus, travelling with Him, taught by Him. They have seen His miracles first hand. They know He is the Messiah, the Son of God, the one all the prophets have foretold. They have had a hard day, just before the passage concerning the storm, we have had the parables of the sower and of the mustard seed - (and what happens during the storm should be considered in the context of what has come before.) Some of the disciples are former fishermen, handling boats was second nature to them, storms were things they had encountered before. This storm threatened to overwhelm their boat, the waves were steadily dragging the boat down. Whatever they had seen and heard from Jesus, in this moment all they had was fear. They wake Jesus, they demand of Him, "Don't you care?". And this is the question we find ourselves asking when fear overwhelms us and drags us down. We shout and rail - "Don't you care?". God's care is never withdrawn from us. We are all familiar with this image